December 28, 2008
2008... the year of plenty
The year of our lord 2008 has been a mixed bag of happiness and bullshit, in other words, life at it's most pristine...
It seems that when you sit down and look at events in time, your memory has a funny way of pushing the moments that you would consider to be good or pleasant to the side while celebrating the moments in which you suffered in one way or another. Would that be because of my pessimistic nature or the old "harsh or bad stories make for a better tale" mind set... I wonder....
2008 of course was overshadowed for me by the loss of my father. He died in February, a week that, looking back now, exists as a roller coaster ride of colors and sound... seeming to set the mood for the remainder of the year. I saw people act in ways that I would have never thought possible, both good and bad... Keeping in mind that everything you go through shapes who you are at this moment. I find no comfort at all in that statement, although I see the logic of it. It almost seems to be an excuse for things that were unpleasant, whether I could have changed them or not. Which then immediately causes me to begin to ponder how I could have effected change in some of the puritanically harsh things that I have had to deal with.
Along with the bad, good has come. Arriving not with trumpets and marching rows of soldiers equipped to battle the evil that is me, yet with subtle, humble, and quietly dedicated work that accompanies such things, causing you not to notice until it's entrenched itself within the scope of your understanding.
My family.. lord help me... I have watched as my children have dealt with issues that children should be oblivious to. In a year that was plagued with the harsh reality of life, such as death, evil people, bad news around every corner, and a constant schedule that never seems to let up...
My fourteen year old had a rough go of it, first year of high school, loss of his grandfather... So he decided that he wanted to let it all go and a have a big blow out of a birthday party in April. He got together with his friends and they decided to camp out here at our place. Yard work was done, tents put up, power run (gotta have power for laptops, gaming systems, and DVD players), ATVs put in running order, food acquired and all was set in motion. Rain came in, yet they didn't seem to mind.. Picture the "nerds" from sixteen candles, and you pretty much have the group in detail... The evening progressed much as you would imagine and things settled to a dull roar, rain came and the nerds didn't seem to notice as they were waist deep in the latest gaming procedures.. I attempted to shake them up here and there with the odd firecracker attacks, yet they hardly noticed. So I went to bed...
I was awaken a couple of hours later by the silhouette of my wife standing in the door professing that, "You need to come and do something about this kid, he has lost his mind". I went into the front room and discovered a group of haggard, soaking wet, funny smelling, just turned teen boys all wide eyed and frightened - milling around, using the phone. I was hit with a stream of details that my groggy mind took a few minutes to sift through. It seemed that one of the children had seen a ghost and was yelling at the top of his lungs about how the world was ending. He had run up the driveway in the pouring rain and across the road to my neighbors house, desiring to use the phone, even though he had a cell phone.. The neighbor was at home alone with her four year old as her husband was on the road driving a truck. The huge thirteen or fourteen year old was standing in her yard in the rain yelling and cussing at the top of his lungs about the end of the world, this was around midnight. My wife had hopped on the Kawasaki mule and drove over there to get the idiot. He began to cuss her out, telling her all sorts of vile things she could do with her authority.
After being filled in, I began to walk up the driveway, with all the kids huddled around the door peeking out... I was met by the child in question, he was soaked through, with a military haircut and crazed look on his face straight from full metal jacket. The "kid" was my size and screaming like a drill Sargent, right in my face, yelling things to me like "I don't give a damn what you say" "fuck you and your wife" "you don't understand the hurt I'm suffering" "Get the fuck out of my way"... You get the picture... All the while attempting to get past me and onto the porch. I never touched him, but blocked him until I was standing on the porch, asking him the same questions over and over, "Have you called your mother?" and "What is her number?" Both questions were met with, "I don't have to tell you a fucking thing." I took a deep breath and examined the situation, it was not good, or acceptable. I weighed options and decided to feel the guy out. My main concern was that the hands buried in his pockets would come flying out with a knife or gun. After a few minutes of me standing on the bottom step and keeping him from getting into the house it became very evident that the boy was beyond deranged. He began to scream for my wife, "I need to speak to Ms. Julie, she needs to understand why I yelled at her"... at this point I seriously considered just putting the boy down, but thought better of it when thinking on the legal ramifications. Julie did come out after a few minutes and attempted the same questions, "Have you called your mother? whats her number?" He answered her in the same screaming voice, "I don't have to tell you a god damned thing"
Even though faced with absurdity and pure evil, I fought my gut reactions to either beat this child or make him walk away, leaving my property and home. He was after all, only thirteen or fourteen, even though my size. After an hour or so of looking for his number and calmly talking to him (none of the kids knew his parents names, all we knew was that his mom was German...) and to start calling everyone in the book with their last name wouldn't have been a good move at that hour... I gave the kid a choice, I continued to speak calmly to him until he settled down enough to become coherent, after about an hour of steady lines of the purest bullshit a southern gentleman could muster and weave together without simply shooting the bastard and going back to bed.. yes, my patience had run screaming over the imagined lines in the sand placed there to keep sanity in check...
I put it to him like this, "You can either call your mother right now, or I call the police." He stood still and said, "Do what you want, nobody can hurt me now" A few minutes later, cars began arriving to cart off the other kids that were huddled inside, afraid for their lives. I took a deep breath and did what I least wanted to do, as the kid paced back and forth and tried to get past me, beating on the side of the house and kicking anything he could reach, I gave him the count down, holding the phone.. at last I put it to him once more.."Just call your mother to come and get you, or I will have you removed by the cops, your choice son" I was met with a resoundingly loud "fuck you!".. and so dialed 911...
He, of course, immediately began apologizing when I got the sheriff's department on the line. What followed was a half hour wait on the cops where the boy began to tell me that he wasn't taking his medication, and his parents were mean to him. I stood, in the still pouring rain, looking not at him, but over his head toward the road waiting for the car to come to haul his ass off to a nice padded room for a while. Speaking all the while in the calmest voice I could draw forth from my soul, I saw a car turning in the driveway. The cops came up and got him off to the side, one spoke to me briefly while others interrogated him. Then, right in the middle of it all his mother arrived. He did call her from his cell phone, about two hours before this moment... We stood on the porch and watched his mother stand next to him and rub his temple. She kept shooting glances at us on the porch, yet never said a word. The cops left and the mother and kid left. We went inside, and began discussing the events in complete exhaustion and dismay. The two or three kids left decided to eat pizza and watch movies in my son's room.... A few minutes later we heard a car and watched as the kids' mom ran around the campsite, gathering the kids belongings, never acknowledging us or our attempts to talk to her. The night ended with a phone call about an hour later.. Yep.. we got dressed down and insulted by mom, for calling the cops to deal with her innocently sweet son... Happy birthday Patrick...
That is a fine example of how the year has gone.... Absurdity on parade. It seems simple enough to say to your spouse, "I will run in the book store and buy a coffee and be right out" Yet half an hour later you're trying to side step the lunatic that clamped down on you like a vampire and is following you to the car telling you about the divorce he's going through... The look on Julie's face was priceless.. a look that clearly said, "kill it, get it away from me. Please." Her freak magnet is a powerful device, attracting spiders and imbeciles from all corners of creation...
We have experienced loss this year, relatives.. friends.. pets.. yet we have also found people in places not looked for. Hard times, good times, busy times, times of boredom, pain and joy have all been on the table this year. I have had my heart ripped out and stomped on, but have also had it picked up, dusted off and handed back to me with a humble bow.
To be rid of drama and jerry springer type bullshit was hard at first, yet has led to a cleansing feeling, one that has shown that life is indeed a roller coaster ride and you never know whats around the next corner. The poison that exists in the hearts and minds of people that continually profess their innocence until they actually believe it, is a thing best left where it belongs.. along the side of the road where you first picked it up. Machinations are just that, they only go as far as you allow them, I just hope the people that were caught can see them for what they are...
Things have changed in ways unlooked for, but seemingly for the better, I rarely tune in to talking head television anymore, and couldn't really care less about who the next President is.. imagine that.. me, not giving a damn about politics or current events... but just wanting to see a damn good movie... and go for a nice quiet ride on the Kawasaki mule while thinking about which cane to start working on next...
2009 is coming with a hope and prayer that it will be a blessed year, yet you never know and must watch at all times so you're not caught or blindsided. Yet I have a pretty good feeling about it.... dare I tempt karma in such a manner?
December 25, 2008
December 24, 2008
December 21, 2008
Last Minute Shopping
We ran from store to store... We waited in traffic... We spent all of our money... We got headaches...
But we did get to eat lunch at a five guys burger place, it was ok... The coffee place at the book store was too crowded to wait in line for a beverage yet the candle store smelled good. They were doing carriage rides around Ashley Park, but the wait was too long and it was a bit too cold for that mess.
As usual walmart was hell belched forth upon this plane of existence to torture all that is held holy and normal...
We saw people fighting and arguing, we saw people holding hands and giggling, we saw kids screaming an throwing things and kids all aglow and happy...
Yet my favorite event of the day was walking into Fuzziwig's Candy Factory... You can get real unsweetened dark chocolate by the pound... real chocolate... I wandered back and forth, thinking, pondering, weighing the options.. and finally decided upon a mix of dark chocolate covered almonds and covered pecans... It was worth the wait on queue behind the polyester covered behemoth who broke in line in front of us with a hmpf becuase she deserved to get out faster than us since she had a dozen snotty kids in tow.. oddly enough I didn't even care.. I was enraptured by the smells and with staring at the glass display case filled with all sorts of madness...
The shopping for the kids is now over, complete, and done. Now I just have to go back out on Christmas Eve to get a few more things and that will be it.. Yet I'm sure Fuzziwig's will be open, there's bound to be someone on my list that might want something chocolate covered...
December 18, 2008
Whew...
At this point in the week us guys at home have had to stop and simply thank all the powers that be for Julie...
Starting on Saturday James became sick with one of the most wicked stomach viruses we have had to deal with in a long time. This mess has spread from one to the other over the past few days and left us quite weak and sore. Right there in the middle of the sickness, the laundry, the cleaning, the Christmas gifts and preparations has been Julie. Steadfast and moving forward in the face of overwhelming odds she has maintained the status quo, unfaltering in her actions.
For the past eighteen years I have had the good fortune to share my life with her and not a moment goes by that I am not thankful for her. I have watched as she has weathered absurdity brought forth by the highest levels of lowlife vermin, suffered loss of family, dealt with sickness, pregnancy, and overwhelming bullshit of all kinds. I have listened as she has laid out plans for things she wants to accomplish, and watched as she has moved forward not swaying in her determination to meet the goals.
She is truly a rock... to see her spend each night this week camped out on the couch to keep an eye on James as he suffered through his illness and recovery, then flit seamlessly into making blankets, scarves, and jewelry for Christmas , map out other gifts and shopping, prepare meals without falter, handle everything that comes her way.. and still manage to find me a pair of socks when I couldn't locate any... These things have served as an in your face reminder of the greatness of her being. Such nurturing given freely and without and question or asking of any sort of reward is an amazing thing to behold. She is a true bad ass..
Kudos Julie... you are something else... maybe tonight you can get some rest...
December 14, 2008
This is not cool...
Being sick and running to the bathroom every hour or so just doesn't cut it... I can handle it, but to watch James suffer with it just is not a good thing...
Kudos to Julie for being up all night taking care of us, making sure we didn't succumb to death's menacing dance.. it seems to be passing, yet James still isn't quite there yet.. but to wear the spidey outfit & watch the movie for the seventh or eight hundredth time seems to be helping...
We seem to have ruled out food poisoning as we all ate the same things, so it looks as if pre-k might have had a hand in passing this one along.....
Kudos to Julie for being up all night taking care of us, making sure we didn't succumb to death's menacing dance.. it seems to be passing, yet James still isn't quite there yet.. but to wear the spidey outfit & watch the movie for the seventh or eight hundredth time seems to be helping...
We seem to have ruled out food poisoning as we all ate the same things, so it looks as if pre-k might have had a hand in passing this one along.....
December 11, 2008
Insomniac at work
When sane individuals are sleeping, lonely people are sliding around the internet reading about sex lives they wish they had, and teenage boys (both physically and mentally) are scoping out the free porn pages (I deleted all my files some time back..) I find myself reading.
The house is quiet, except for the drone of the fan, must have the white noise.... all is dark, and a fresh beverage is at the ready, clouds of aromatic cigar smoke are following me around, and the book is well broken in. Could there be a better moment?
I slide down under the pile of quilts, adjust the pillows, put on the glasses, and reach for the book on top of the stack next to the bed. I'm never really sure what it will be, right now it's an Alex Delaware murder mystery, literary jerry springer, but fun. I start out rebending and breaking the book's back so it cooperates, figuring out which dog eared page I was actually on, and then I begin to read.
I start to feel the pull of sleep when I notice that I've read the same page repeatedly and suddenly wake up the third or fourth time and relight the cigar.. usually at this point I freshen the beverage, run a dog or two out of my chair, and curmudgeon my way through the darkened house back to the warmth of the bed. With this second wind and fresh load of caffeine I begin to hit my stride, flipping page after page getting ever closer to the answer of the riddle when I look up and notice the time... Damn... I have to get up in three hours... but I always manage to get at least an hour more in...
I'm sure this is why I generally have no memory of the mornings activities and come to my senses with a start of a violent head shake half way to work, checking to make sure I have my wallet and looking in the back seat to see if I remembered to drop James off at school... I'm in a stupor until the third or so bucket of coffee has been downed and do pretty well until around three or four that afternoon when it begins to catch up with me.
This is the life of an insomniac... if it's not the internet, it's wood carving or a good movie, but after it's done there is always the irresistible draw of the book... doesn't matter if you arrive at midnight or two a.m. they are just waiting there, daring you to pick them up.. smirking with that little "I was waiting for you" face... and I always give in... although lately, the damned things have begun to talk back to me... maybe I should try a bit harder to listen, I feel they might be trying to share something important.
December 09, 2008
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