September 08, 2008

I am so relieved...

While carving several projects at once, my mind runs in.. well... several directions at once. Being a veteran of a large, argumentatively loud family, moving right into a family of my own with strangely maniacal children I find a constant background roar to be the norm. So if the people around me aren't loud enough for me to concentrate on what I'm doing, I must create a level of noise that causes my mind to become fuzzy, so that I can then focus on what it is that I'm doing. When it is too quiet I become uneasy. A fact illustrated by my behavior when my wife and kids go out of town. I always spend a couple of hours cleaning like a madman, to get everything done and in its proper place, so I can crash into my favorite chair and stare at everything until they get home, by which time I am usually so paranoid that I am twitching at every sound I hear.

Now when I hear something that normal humans would consider to be blatantly ridiculous, one of two things happen, I look over my shoulder, away from the direction of the professed stupidity, and give the imaginary camera that follows me around recording my life for later review the "benny hill" look, if you've seen the show you know what I am talking about... The other thing that happens is that I wait, with a blank stare, for the child catcher to appear and violently insert his hook into the offensive party to drag them from my presence. Most of the time this doesn't happen. So I begin to blink rapidly until it becomes clear that this individual was serious and therefore is not very bright, so I must cautiously move away while guarding myself from attack.

This particular evening my mind was going all over the place, the four year old was screaming and attacking everything, the fourteen year old was loudly looking around you tube for the latest video of whatever band he likes, my wife was playing referee while trying to finish a project of her own, I was covered in wood chips, the dogs were barking, and cnn was blaring over everything... So, situation normal, I could concentrate. There was the ubiquitous talking head blather fest running sideways across the speakers, free flowing with the usual dribble of the non biased media, letting us know that palin is a succubus who will eat our children while obama fights her down from the mountain top to save mankind from certain republican created doom. When, as the show was ending, one of obama's minions made the statement that caused both the benny hill look, and the child catcher hunt to occur at the same time. The discussion was centered around palin's obvious unpreparedness for the vice presidential slot because she is in favor of gun owner's rights and a christian. The obamaton then looked directly into the camera and said, "Well owning a gun certainly means that you are not a christian".

I didn't bother to look over my shoulder for the camera, the crew moved around me to get the shot. I waited in vain for someone to challenge the guy but nobody did. I began prodding the token conservative with, "Ummmm, come on, you can do it". No dice, she just sat there gleaming her smile waiting for the talking head to give her the ok to speak. The conversation ended, the show went off, larry king's gremlin like visage popped up and life went on.

I began chewing my imaginary bubble gum, I do that sometimes when faced with cavernous intellects that are superior to mine, that or either point off in the distance and say, "There castle". There was no hope, what I witnessed would go unchallenged in the face of yet another person who is so much smarter than I am. I am so glad that these people are out there to tell me how to live and what to think. I must immediately go now and hand over all means of protecting my family, so that I don't get mad and kill them all in a redneck haze of my own inbred stupidity. Damn, to think how close it came... A huge weight has now been lifted from me. Thank you obama for allowing me to see the error of my ways via your little helper....

They, you know those guys, always say that we want straight talk and profess to give it to us. Well, their version at least. On one hand we have people that believe the devil lives in our books, movies, music and genitalia.. On the other hand we have people that think that money should be taken from people that have it where ever it can be gotten and given to those who do not have any so that they can stay in power.

By setting the way you have to give and get money they tell you what to do to either A) keep more of your own money or B) what to do to get someone else's money, they are in fact controlling all aspects of our lives. Forget the patriot act, you want this government backed loan to get that house for your family, well then you have to put toilets in it that hold this much water. You want to put some away for your kids in a trust, well then you must leave it there for this long without touching it or you will get a penalty... The shit is never ending.

There were semi-automatic 22 caliber rifles on the Assault weapons list, think about that. They were put there because of the way they looked, that's it. The same rate of fire, the same bullet, the same everything, but because you put a fold down stock on it, it becomes an assault weapon. This is the freewheeling unadulterated mind power of the government collective at work.

There used to be shooting clubs at schools for crying out loud, kids brought weapons on the bus and took them to school to shoot at club meetings after classes were over. But I am told, things were different then, Bull shit. They were exactly the same, the only difference was back then if you acted up the principal or teacher actually disciplined you, your parents whipped your ass when you did wrong, there were no statements like this: "He needs Ritalin, he can't pay attention in school" Yet he can sit his fat ass in front of a television for six hours straight playing a video game while stuffing his face with hot pockets and never deviate once from his "mission", and there were no twenty four hour news channels or Internet to speed you live shots of fat cops standing around in parking lots not wanting to advance on the criminals and risk their own lives for thirty five grand a year. But wait, we did this to ourselves folks. "If some one touches my child, I will sue the living daylights out of them", we made this bed, so here we are, don't you just love political correctness....

And while I'm on the soap box, get the hell over it you people on the left, you are not enlightened at all. Democrats are just as big in dealing out hypocrisy as republicans are, Republicans can just afford the hookers and good weed at the conventions without having to go to parties to "hook up" and be seen... We know what's going on, we know that people are worms, they watch porn, they gossip, they lie, they steal, they cheat on their spouses, they get abortions for their kids, they drink or do drugs.. Not all of them, but enough to call for the hypocrisy label... We just don't give a damn. Do you really think Clinton's antics in the white house raised an eyebrow on the right? Of course not, they just saw a way to go after the guy and make him look bad. Following the same train of thought, do you really believe people on the right are going to listen to people that are preaching about fuel consumption and global warming when all their private jets that brought them to said function are being refueled and waiting on stand by for their return? We are all human, we all fall short of perfection every day that we breathe. Choose your mountain to die on and fight to the bitter end, but don't get mad if the next guy doesn't believe that global warming is real, or homosexuality doesn't exist in the military, or someone just plain ass doesn't give a shit about you or your cause. Live and let live....

6 comments:

HeartofGoldPlate said...

I just picture you making that Benny Hill face and I get into a giggle fit.

I don't know if I've ever told you this, but there's this Family Guy episode where Peter mentions when he decided to narrate his life, and it segues into one of those ADD pointless hilarious moments. It's always made me think of you.

Jules said...

True..we all fall short. It is just easier to point out everyone else's faults than it is to admit that we have our own. If it isn't political correctness it is finger pointing. No one looks in the mirror anymore. Don't get me wrong - that doesn't make things right by any means but at the same time I have a harder time taking your tirades seriously when I know for a fact you have done or are doing what you are so busy complaining about.

Anonymous said...

Aren't we glad we know what is right and what is wrong.
I'm glad I live in this country But these polticians will end up ruinming America.Pretty soon a politician will be expected to tell you it's okay to go to the bathroom seem to me.They want to tell you everything else to do.Our homes are our homes.Nobody but us tells us what to do in them.
MJ

Anonymous said...

great post, very inspirational!

The Angry Georgian said...

Not me! I'm perfect!

Boo said...

I love this fucking post. Babe, you're brilliant and 100% correct. I don't really consider myself liberal or conservative. I swing so far in either direction, depending on the issue. I think most people are like that, but we've allowed ourselves to become enslaved to this polarized perspective of division.

I feel so totally out of touch with my peers if they are truly swallowing this bitter pill, and gladly. This is America, fer Nixon's sake. There is so much loud yodeling, proclamations of pride, but ol' Billy had it right, methinks they doth protest too much. A nation with pride in itself would not allow itself to become so complacent and cowed.

What happened to all our fight? Our faith in ourselves? Our convictions? We've become so hopelessly deluded. I love this country so much, and it makes me weep to think we're giving it all away.

I'm proud to be an American, I just wish the rest of the country was.