Growing Pains

"One in each leg will look cool!"

the arm wound

The sponge bob sticker he got for living through it all

Today I was Afforded the distinct pleasure of accompanying my four year old to the Doctors office to get his shots before he begins pre-k. We spoke to the nurse about paperwork, they took his blood pressure, measured his height and weighed him. He comes in at three feet six inches tall and 38 pounds... Then we went into the examination room to await the nurse practitioner. She came in with a whirl wind of gum smacking and trying to tell me all about my kid. I let her go on because I knew that we were there for a specific reason... shots. When she was done riding the charming train and realized that I wasn't traveling along with her she got down to business. I learned that he had to have three shots to get his records current. He was nervous but still doing fine. The practitioner then fetched the nurse that was going to administer the shots, she came in and introduced herself, and we followed her to the back room for the torture to begin. He wanted to sit in my lap while he got the shots and we were told that would be fine. I reached out and lightly pinched his arm and said, "It will feel about like this" He smiled a nervous grin at me and said, "That's ok dad". She let him choose the spots, he wanted one in each leg and one in the arm.. he said it would look cool...
The nurse wanted me to hold his arms and wrap my leg over his legs to help hold him in place. Then the look of panic set in... She squeezed his arm and stuck him good... That child let out a primal scream that was deafening, he decided then and there that I was the biggest asshole in the state and that the nurse had been sent here straight from the darkest pit of hell to torture him. He was not having any more... Try as we may, he twisted, screamed, fought, cried, and slung his limbs in every direction. We managed to get in the second shot, but gave up after that and stood in the middle of the room panting and mopping our brows... He was stomping around telling us that he wasn't getting another shot. When we had recovered I told him that he only had one more to go, the nurse said that we might have to lay him on the table... I let him choose, he wanted no tables involved, so we resumed positions, the second she started toward him he began the screaming dance of death again, at that moment I hopped up and took him into the other room and sat him on the table, telling him that we had to do it in here. He didn't want to lay down, so he sat up and we finally made it through the ordeal... The very second she applied the cotton ball and band aid he jumped down and announced he wanted to go back to the waiting room to play with the toys.. When I rounded the corner to the "business window" all the nurses were looking at me with droopy sad eyes...I looked up, haggard and disheveled, and smiled a bit... "Did you guys hear all that?" they all nodded in the affirmative... "Well... that was me... he did fine" They all laughed a bit.. Meanwhile, the four year old was happily building a Lego tower in the waiting room... When i came out to get him, he stood up in the middle of the waiting room and announced for all to hear that, as he pinched his arm, "You said it would hurt like this" he then squeezed his arm harder and said, "But it really hurt like this... I don't like you dad!" The people all started snickering and I told him I was sorry... I know that this is all part of the pay back arrangement my parents set in place... I just know it is...