January 22, 2011

irksome...


Stumbling through facebook a while back I happened across a picture that my cousin posted. The photograph gave me pause, I downloaded it, and find myself looking at it at odd times. This space is there, right now, as I type on this keyboard. I find that to be ... irksome. That makes no sense to me, but that is what I feel.

I see the names carved into the stone in a way that the two of them wanted, with designs they picked, but it feels wrong. I think about the meeting they had with the gentleman who sold them these bits of property way back when. I wonder if the stone was included in the package... Did some bent over little man hand them a book that they looked through with simple line drawings of these stones, and did they pick through them and decide on this? The state of mind of that day, when they chose the details, did it hold true to them for the rest of their lives?

The names on the stone. They speak nothing of the lives they represent. How could anyone know that these two people lived a life of struggle, work, and family? Lives dedicated to the well being of others. They worked countless hours in a cotton mill and on a farm to provide for a family. They scraped enough money together to make sure the kids had things they wanted. They made sure everyone they came in contact with was well fed. They were happy to see almost anyone at all... And they would let you know it. Their faces would fill with genuine wonder when they held a child in their laps. They cared nothing for going places or being seen, happiness didn't include anything that could be bought. They were righteous people and loved God, but never turned away anyone, regardless of what they believed. They were my grandparents...

It's like a photograph appearing in an obituary, it doesn't seem right. Which photograph of you do you think would be used in your death announcement appearing in your local paper? Which one of the hundreds of pictures of yourself that you've seen do you think will be the one? And would you really want to pick it? Or even know the one chosen?

I don't really want to know what happens to me after I die, meaning my physical person. My final resting place? No thanks... I could see myself being depressed over some horrible incident, standing in the rain on a lonely night, fog creeping up from the forest behind me as I stare down at a spot in the dirt where I know my body will someday be doomed to lie until the earth is burned to a cinder by the sun....

Photographs are a moment frozen in time. Looking across the faces of people and the places associated with them brings back memories of those times. I find myself considering the small out of the way things when I'm in a place that means something to me. A small corner of a bench set along a wall where I once waited. When I revisit that day I will think of that bench... The feel of it and the view, some sort of awkward angle while looking down at the ground.. The sound of the ocean behind me as it broke on that wall, and the smell of the humid air as it poured over my shoulders, pushed along by an endless breeze.
I think to myself, that bench, breeze and humidity are still there. When I'm driving or listening to someone talk the image will pop into my mind. When someone mentions that trip I will think of that place or the cobblestone that was tossed next to the building that I stared at as I walked by in the heat of the day. I thought briefly to myself, "How did that get up there? Who dislodged it?"

A huge ant bed nestled against a tree way out in the woods, undisturbed by people at all, allowed to grow to nearly three feet in height.. I think often about walking past that spot and glancing over.. I stopped for a moment and looked at it. The sun was beating down, the air was stifling, the middle of summer, humid, hot... That image stays with me.

For some reason those are the images I go to when I seek comfort. I've seen people make photo albums of others after they pass away. I think that I would rather have a photo album of the tiny glimpses of the places I've seen during my life. A book of what people saw during their time on earth would better represent that individual than photographs of their person. They never really saw themselves throughout life as they are depicted in those photographs. The sum of their lives and memories are made up what they witnessed, not how they looked... A photo album of the world through that persons eyes..

That would seem more comforting to me...

December 26, 2010

A slow motion kind of Christmas


The week before Christmas was building up to a feverish pitch. Orders were piled up, guests were coming into town, shopping was still to be done, organization was afoot in the house... In other words, a typical holiday season.

The weekend before was spent in a nonstop frenzy of making everything ready for the festivities. The pace slowed down a bit after our guests arrived Sunday night. Plans were laid for holiday meals featuring all of the classic dishes one would expect. Personally, I was looking forward to Tuesday's fare of a slow baked ham...

I finished a couple of orders during the day and did research on a third that was to be started that evening after the meal. I was feeling pretty done in and decided to take a nap before dinner. When I woke up I laid in bed pondering the night's hectic schedule when I noticed that I wasn't feeling too well.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with gallstones. Eating right and using medication at the appropriate moments were the courses I chose to engage this satanic violation to my person. Well, you can guess how that's been going, every few weeks I would end up eating something I knew I shouldn't have touched. Then I would have a night of pacing, taking medicine, and waiting for the pain to stop. If the moon was in the correct phase and all was right with the world, the pain would end and I would drop off to sleep somewhere in the wee hours of the morning. Usually though, I carried around a couple of trash bags waiting for what the doctor labeled "extreme nausea" to take hold. Then I would suffer through being sick twice an hour around the clock until I felt as if I would pass out. That's the scenario I was pondering while laying in bed Tuesday evening. I knew the gallbladder was starting to whisper to me....

I could hear everyone in the front room milling about as dinner was prepared. I decided to take the "I shall overcome" approach and ignore the slight pain in my side. Several people came and went through the course of the night, and I took it easy on the ham. I had a few pieces of normal sized portions, with no sides. When everyone had left I began to notice the slight itchy pain being tossed about by the gallbladder was growing in scope and determination. I knew it was going to be one of those sleepless nights. It had been a long while since one, so I was determined to make do. The schedule was too full to be interrupted by any sickness of several days. I grabbed the trash bags and the medicine and began my vigil.

The problem with this episode was a simple one... It would not stop hurting.

There is normally a space of a few minutes when I could get in a bit of rest between episodes of being sick, but not this time. I hate taking any sort of medication and had three doses of anti nausea concoction left. The normal medicine I keep on hand usually works, but that trial had long since come and gone and it was time to break out the big guns... The first dose was taken and I waited patiently for the thirty minute window of relief... I was met, instead, with a need for more garbage bags.

Several hours and the two remaining doses of medicine later, I was no better.

When the sun began to rise I decided that I was going to have to contact the doctor for a stronger chemical mixture to combat this. Then I almost passed out. Muscle cramps and dry heaves do not mix well. I could not breathe. A call was placed to 911 for an ambulance, but I recovered in time to stop it and be taken by car to the hospital. I had made up my mind.

The main reason I fought removal of the gallbladder over the past few years was fear. Plain and simple fear. I've been to the ER with carving cuts requiring stitches, burns, herniated discs, deeply embedded fish hooks, broken fingers, and even a gunshot... But to voluntarily surrender yourself to a group of people, knowing that you would be knocked out and have a part of you cut away? Something about that went against my basic premise of self preservation. In other words, it scared the shit out of me.

The doctor came around and gave me drugs for the pain and nausea, then left me there for several long hours. He came back, sat by my bed, looked me directly in the eyes and told me he had been talking to the specialist I had seen about my gallbladder. He asked me if I wanted it out because that would be the only thing to stop the pain once and for all. Immediately every horror movie scene with surgeons in it flashed before me and I asked, "Can I wait until after Christmas?" Knowing full well that I would run out of there and hide as I usually do. He told me that the specialist could be there in a bit and I would be up and about for Christmas with no pain, other than soreness.

So in a fit of common sense I lowered my head and said, "ok..."

What followed was every nightmare I had ever had coming true. Being naked while wearing a small dress in a room full of masked people, being unconscious while having people with implements of destruction doing things to me, facing death while wearing tight socks, an overnight stay in a hospital, a five a.m. sponge bath from Helga the invincible, and useless waiting... It all happened.

As I lay in the bed about 4:30 the next morning watching Mclintock on hospital television, I realized that I had been right all along. Tubes and wires ran out of me, machines beeped and pinged around me, and people kept coming in to measure how much urine output I had. But I wasn't nauseous... Every place on my person was sore and hurting except for my gallbladder, which was then being chopped up and examined in a government basement somewhere. The doctor showed up sometime after lunch and told me I did fine, handing me a jar of rocks...

"I kept these for you because they ranged in the ninety five percentile in size, some of the largest I've ever removed... How could you take it?"

I then shared with him the one true thing about the entire episode that bothered me... That something so invasive could have happened to me and I would have no memory of it at all... That is still weighing heavily on me. I don't like hospitals, that was my first ever overnight stay, I have little to no concern when people tell me I'm a wuss because it's nothing compared to childbirth...

A review of my medical history shows that I have had these things for years, god only knows how long. I was told some twenty odd years ago that my gallbladder was infected, but once I was given medicine and promised to return in two weeks to have it checked out I ran and went into hiding. Yes.. I wish I had done this years ago, but I was afraid.

So I suffered this Christmas. I have to walk slowly, I am too afraid to really eat anything (I did manage twelve baby lima beans and about half an ounce of lean meat for Christmas dinner) that plus a can of chicken and rice soup is all I've had this week.. I don't count the ham I had Tuesday since it didn't last long. I've lost about twenty four pounds since the twentieth of this month, so I'm using that to play off of and keep the trend going.... Yeah right... I've heard all of the horror stories about post gallbladder surgery diets.. And I'm not amused...

I didn't get to finish my orders for gifts people were counting on, I feel horrible about that. I've been sleeping in a chair, I didn't get to finish my shopping, and the stress level has been pretty high, owing to the devils tap dance on my midsection...

But a strange thing has occurred. Common sense took hold shortly after the operation and epiphanies flew about me like gnats. Perhaps all the times I've been sick over the last twenty years were due to this thing... How much quality time has been stolen from me by my own fear? I was at the stage where lots of my favorite foods were verboten to me, even cinnamon... I resigned myself to a life without cinnamon?

I began to think about my wife and children. When I started adding up the times I couldn't go with them to some sort of outing due to sickness I became ashamed, completely appalled would be more accurate. I've robbed them of time with me because I was too afraid to get something like this taken care of. That, in itself, is a bitter pill to swallow... To be more accurate it was my weakness that held me at bay, not my fear. Had I looked at the KFC in the box and thought, "No... thou shalt die if thy consume that grease..." I would have been there more often... But I would do it anyway. Weakness of will coupled with fear. For that, I do apologize to them.

The Holiday is now over, I sit here with a very rare snowfall blanketing the ground in Georgia, an actual white Christmas. My father waited his entire life for one of these and never got to see it, yet here I sit in the dark witnessing what he desired. I looked out of the door this evening as the kids played video games behind me, watching the slow descent of huge snowflakes through the silent black limbs of the trees around me. I felt as if my father had brought this snowfall as a closure to the life of useless fear I have lived. The peace of this place, the rest and comfort they have allowed me over the past few days, and the love they have shown me in my ignorance have brought me to this key board. I only hope that I now can measure up to what they truly deserve.

November 16, 2010

The last week or so...

A couple of weekends ago we were in front of Scotts Book Store in Newnan for the sale that takes place on the court square the first Saturday of every month.

It was cold. Ridiculously cold.

I knew that the temperatures were doable, but combined with the wind, it was hell. We set up and were ready to go by nine that morning. Even though we were armed with "hot hands" (little baggies you put in your gloves that heat up), thermal underwear, layers, coats, and a huge quilt, we were still hurting.

I made several trips to the coffee shop on the square but it just didn't help, so we packed up around lunch time and headed out.

I took the camera with me and snapped a few shots, so when we got home and unloaded the car I began the process of uploading the pictures....

In the middle of said process I accidentally stepped on the on/off switch on the power strip that everything over here at the desk is plugged into and turned off the lamp, phone, computer, monitor, etc etc... I turned the power back on and was met with a message on the screen that I refer to as an "I got a rock" notation:

Smart failure predicted on hard disk 0: samsung spq802n - (pm)

WARNING: immediately back up your data and replace your hard disk drive, A failure may be imminent.

press f1 to continue

I stared at the screen for a moment and said, "That's nice..." under my breath and pressed f1 to continue. The machine began to boot up and went to the windows vista screen as it normally does, then promptly tossed up a blue screen of death for a millisecond, then the dread I got a rock notation hopped right back into place... Needless to say, all the pressing of f1 I did only created the same effect. Death to the hard drive.

But!

I was prepared... I have lost tons of pictures and my writing before, so I had a nifty flash drive in the drawer loaded with a back up of all my current data. I waited until Monday morning and called the local computer fix it guy. I took the tower in after telling them what was going on and waited for over a week... The data was not retrievable and the hard drive was fried, so we went the uber cheap route, replacing it with a used functioning hard drive.

I wasn't looking forward to all the reloading of software and tweaking of settings that accompanies such a pain in the ass, but it's doable... Upon getting the tower back and deciphering the birds nest of wires and connections I was ready for a test drive. When I turned the thing on it seemed to boot up ok, then the monitor went blank and began clicking... I tried several times to get it to work, but it was a no go situation. I drove back to the local computer fix it guy's place and walked in, telling them what had happened. We dug around and I made it out of there with a nice monitor and speakers for around twenty bucks (the old monitor had speakers built into it). Thus it was back to the birds nest of bullshit and untangling. Once in place, the reloading process started.. I have most of that done now, except for the color scheme... I just can't get it like I had it before and it's irritating the hell out of me...

Last weekend we went to the local fairgrounds for another show. This one was put on by the Teachers Association. The day before we went I decided it was time to get the rear brakes on my car replaced because they had been squeaking for a few days... I left the car at the shop and picked it up Friday evening. We packed everything in the wee hours of Saturday morning and headed out. When we were almost to the fairgrounds I noticed that the car suddenly wasn't desiring to go forward with its usual gusto. I was afraid the transmission was going out and began cussing and spitting fire. Once we made it to the parking lot my wife jumped out of the car and said, "Hey look, that wheel is smoking..." The rear wheel was pouring smoke out of it.. Locked caliper.. nice. So I ran the mechanic down and had a talk with him. Several hours later a tow truck showed up and the frantic search for a ride home for the four of us and all of our show paraphernalia began. As luck would have it, my cousin showed up with an almost empty minivan while I was on the phone begging for a ride... I got the car back today and its sitting in the driveway right now waiting for me to test drive it... It knows I hate it and its basking in my fear...

I kept the camera with me through all this mess and decided to share a few shots of what was going on while the car and the computer were both laughing at me...



it was cold the morning of the show on the square...


set up and ready to go


lots of jewelry for sale


this woman picked through everything julie had out for sale... twice.


the courthouse in Newnan


scotts bookstore where we set up each month


the sign on top of the downtown library


the doughnut guys, if you see them anywhere stop and get a dozen, they are delicious..


me & "boomer" if you're from Newnan you know who boomer is...


my favorite alley in town


my 478th trip to the coffee shop that day


me & the mystical wood carver.. i love his work, go check him out


he is very good


one of his poplar walking sticks


this magnolia tree was planted by my great grandmother


there are many trees growing under its canopy..


i picked one and cut it down for walking stick material


the piece i got will provide enough for three finished walking sticks


the mule loaded up with the walking sticks and limbs i cut


being surrounded by deer hunters the dogs often drag up gifts for us... this was left in our front yard and james wasn't going to be satisfied until i had mounted it on a tree


the show at the fairgrounds, cramped quarters, but a steady crowd


different classes of students came around every hour or so during the day and sang christmas songs, they were really good..


my view as i talked to the mechanic and searched for a ride home...


james and his cousin played out back during the show


james spent many hours in deep discussion with this man...


hey.. sometimes you just have to build a rock city


james wanted to make new homes for his toys


the mario brothers...


the scarecrow guarding my mothers driveway


we ran down my older brother who was hauling firewood, while enjoying a wholesome snack


this far off wood pecker house was being watched carefully...


by this guy, my niece's new son...


we ended the day by taking a kawasaki mule ride down in the woods to check on an old friend...




this is the tree where the old hobbit lives that watches over the garden.. he was well, and all was right with the world...


November 04, 2010

The real danger of the Tea Party movement


I was listening to a speaker at a dinner given by the communist party when he began to talk about the Tea Party.

"The problem we have with this group of people is that they are in a position to sway the conscience thought of voters in this country. They hold no fear to speak about the things they believe in. They stand for capitalism and high import taxes, for building the labor force in this nation based on individual measure of the worker and not the collective bargaining power that labor has, they believe in the rights of the individual over the needs of the society. We see that they have gained momentum, because of this there is only one conclusion we can arrive at... we must dismantle this movement before it takes root."

I have never witnessed any group of people attacked at the rate the Tea Party has been over the last several months. Whether it's jon stewart, bill maher, or just the media in general, these people have been raked over the coals at an unprecedented rate. Having been interested in the libertarian party for some time I recognized the quiet ways they were being belittled immediately. Whenever you would see anything about the libertarians on television, the cameras always seemed to focus on the one burnt out ex-hippie with the multicolored top hat featuring the "legalize weed" buttons all over his clothes... He would be the only one in the crowd wearing this, but he would get seventy percent of the camera shots....

The Tea Party is suffering the same abuse. There is actually a website that features the following manifesto:

"WHO WE ARE: A nationwide network of Democrats, Republicans, and Independents who are all sick and tired of that loose affiliation of racists, homophobes, and morons; who constitute the fake grass-roots movement which calls itself “The Tea Party.”

WHAT WE WANT: To dismantle and demolish the Tea Party by any non-violent means necessary.


HOW WE WILL SUCCEED: By infiltrating the Tea party itself! In an effort to propagate their pre-existing propensity for paranoia and suspicion. … We have already sat quietly in their meetings and observed their rallies.
Whenever possible, we will act on behalf of the Tea Party in ways which exaggerate their least appealing qualities (misspelled protest signs, wild claims in TV interviews, etc.) to further distance them from mainstream America and damage the public’s opinion of them. We will also use the inside information that we have gained in order to disrupt and derail their plans

Sound like fun? … It is!!"

NPR featured a video on it's site making fun of the Tea Party.





I have sat down with these people, listened to them, worked with them, and talked with them about political policies. The picture being painted of them in the media is one of inbred, slack jawed, violent racists. There is a reason for this. They are uncompromising. They do not advocate moral issues at all, they do not speak of abortion, gay marriage, etc etc.. They talk only about fiscal issues, and they stay on message. Therein lies their danger.

I went back over all available interviews with candidates and supporters. Coupled with my personal experience of interacting with party members, this has shown me the biased nature of the media reports about the Tea Party. This, in truth, is a grassroots movement of people who are shockingly normal. I have encountered christians, atheists, conservatives, liberals, people who believe in the death penalty for drug users, and people who think drugs should be legalized within the Tea Party...

Evangelical movement supporters do not like them because they won't embrace religion in their doctrine. Liberals won't embrace them because, well ignorance is bliss... liberals tend to look at pictures, listen to stewart and maher, then parrot what they hear without the benefit of actually taking time to research what they are attacking, if the tv and the internet says it, its true. The extreme right doesn't like them because they are outspoken in holding politicians to their own words.

There are idiots in every movement, so when a woman affronts a candidate and she is thrown to the ground and stomped on by a Tea Party member it is disgusting, and said members should, and will, be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. This was assault and he should be charged with such, just as the union members who beat Kenneth Gladney, a black Tea Party member, were.




Or the guy that bit off Bill Rice's finger.




Goodness knows the left in this country never say or do anything that advocates violence...





While it's in fashion to make fun of these people, perhaps the fear of what they stand for is what's driving the corporate media to attack them so vehemently. Zealots are on all sides, just as pure stupidity is... (see christine odonnell) but the real danger of this movement is that fad and fashion of what's cool may one day give way in the media and blogosphere to someone actually looking into what this movement is doing and what they stand for.

Less government intervention in our lives, term limits, the fair tax. In other words, freedom and personal responsibility coupled with accountable government.

Remember, you can usually measure the effectiveness of a movement by how many enemies it garners, and right now the list of people who wish to destroy the Tea Party is long and distinguished...



October 31, 2010

Haints


Halloween at midnight. Legend has it that Dead Time runs between midnight and three a.m., the time when all deeds black and evil in nature should be done. A time when foul things of worlds beyond our understanding have the power to break through the bonds keeping them in check.

We pride ourselves on our ability to recognize that which is real and separate it from what we understand to be our imagination. To come in contact with what we know to be impossible is to challenge the very fiber of our being....

Having traveled to many places in search of a true haunted house, I had become quite cynical over the years. I would hear stories of things that could be heard walking in attics, voices that would speak in whispers that you couldn't quite understand, images peering down at you from windows of rooms seldom visited, yet I seemed to be let down time and again, never seeing or hearing anything.

I was thinking about these things as I was burning some brush across the road from the driveway. The evening was settling in and night was about fall, a cool breeze was blowing as the smell of wet leaves and decay wafted about me. I had thrown a few loads of limbs onto the fire, now billowing smoke from the damp leaves, when I stood and leaned on my rake. I looked down across the small field of high grass swaying back and forth in the wind to the yellow lights burning in the windows of my Grandparent's house.

I had heard my Grandfather spin many tales about ghosts and strange things he had witnessed over his life. I could see his figure outlined in the dim light from the house as he sat on his porch.

I made a decision.

When the fire had died down to a manageable pile of embers, I walked through the field toward his porch. I remember looking back at the fire, the slight wind making the coals heat up to a dark red glow. The moon hanging low over the horizon looked uncharacteristically large, its light casting everything around me into the dull black and gray of its world. The colors of this season were wiped away as easily crumbs of bread from a shirt.

I stepped onto the porch and sat down next to my grandfather, never speaking a word. He was looking toward the edge of his yard, just past the huge tree that he had put a fire hose swing in so many years before. After a few minutes he tossed his arm up and pointed in the general direction of the tree.

"Back over in there on the other side of that acorn hill is a spot you shouldn't go..."

I was always intrigued as to how he could seem to read your mind. I decided not to say anything, so I sat back in anticipation, ready to be spun a tale I was sure I would relish for years to come. He had a pace for talking that you had to set yourself up for, so I waited for him to continue.

"We came up here once when I was young, back when all this was a big farm. I remember that man we saw told us about how this was a plantation back around the Civil War. We started down the road from the other end." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder toward Macedonia Road. "We had been told we could come out here and hunt for deer, the foreman over at the mill told us about where to look for an old camping spot they used down in a hollow. He said that when the road started back down hill toward panther creek we would see a little road off to the right, about where ya'lls driveway is. We stopped the pick up truck just inside that road and got out to go look for it."

He leaned over the porch rail and spat tobacco juice out into the yard, then rocked back in his chair, turning to face me. The look in his eyes was deadly serious, it made me sit up and take notice.

"Now I ain't ever been one to be scary, but let me tell you... when you start walking off into those woods up there with a lantern late at night, you can get to feeling like there's something watching you... We walked all the way out in there with just one lantern, that was all. I was carrying the tent and food, the fellow ahead of me had the guns and that old boy from the loading dock was in front with the light. We topped that acorn hill and stopped up there just to listen. It was god awful quiet and the wind was blowing about like it is right now. I knew that place was eat up with haints because of all the things I had heard at work, but I just kept myself calm and said there wasn't anything to worry about.

We started down the backside of that hill, headed north east, when we heard the awfullest racket you could imagine coming from near the creek. We all stopped short and stood stock still listening... It sounded like somebody was getting burned alive in a fire down there, I hadn't ever heard screaming like that. We didn't know what to do.

After a while of nearly pissing our britches we decided to walk on down there. It had got quiet again, but we noticed that it was a bit too still. I guess we all sort of decided just not to mention what we had heard, because we walked in silence. When we reached the creek we found the little log bridge he told us about and we set out over to the other side. We went around some big rocks and found the spot he was talking about, there was a ring for a fire set up in the middle of a clearing and some wood was still piled near an old tree they had built a plywood table on. I put the stuff down and we started picking through it to get things set up, it was late and we wanted an early start on the deer.

We hadn't been there ten minutes when we heard that screaming again. This time it sounded like it was right on top of us. We all started backing up to the trees behind us, heading away from the noise. We started looking at one another but were too scared to say anything. When it got quiet again that boy from the loading dock said that we just needed to go home. I turned around and he was white as a sheet... I told him it wasn't anything to worry about , probably some old bobcat or something. He told me that the folks down on the village told him there was a witch that lived over here somewhere and he wasn't about to mess with a witch. As soon as he said that the other guy started yelling and came up with an axe in his hand from behind the loading dock boy, he screamed and threw that axe right past me, and started yelling, 'There she is! There she is!'

We dropped everything we had and started running back toward the creek. When we crossed over that bridge, that yelling started up again, it sounded like whatever was yelling was snapping right at our heels... We didn't stop running until we were back at the truck...

We threw that thing in gear and floored it, heading back down the road right toward that old bridge that used to be down there."

He pointed deeper into the woods where the old road bed lay from before the road dead ended at his driveway.

"When we hit that bridge, there was somebody standing right off to the side, right on the creek bank, holding a lantern. It was an old woman, dressed all in black, wrapped up from head to toe. She was pointing at us when we saw her. We nearly went off that bridge, that boy driving was yelling, I was yelling, and that other fellow was yelling louder than either of us.... But I'm telling you, we could still hear that screaming even though we were all yelling as loud as we could. That truck didn't slow down until we hit the highway..."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, then he reached down and picked up a piece of wood that he had been whittling on and started up where he left off. He stopped after a few minutes, and looked my way...

"I ain't never been back over there past those rocks since that night.. not once."

As I was walking home I kept looking over my right shoulder.. Directly toward the spot he had been talking about. It was dark and still, the light from the moon was bright, but I knew I would need a flashlight..

I was standing at the edge of the driveway, flashlight in hand, staring at the old road bed. I pondered things for a few moments before stepping onto the pine needles. I knew exactly where he was talking about. The problem was that the entire area was all boggy now. A swamp had crept up over the years, with many springs bubbling out of the ground... Yet I knew I had no choice but to go in search of this campsite.

I walked down the road bed toward the old bridge, no easy feat. The way had become treacherous over the years, pig trails and the edges of beaver dams held the surest footing. When I got to the creek I searched in both directions until I found the remnants of the bridge. The county had been doing road work out here and had driven an old tractor onto the bridge, causing it to fall in. They pulled the tractor out of the creek, but never came back to repair the bridge... over the years the road was swallowed by the woods. My grandfather bought the land from the mill owner and built his home near the start of the downhill slope toward the bridge, over time the road just came to end at his driveway.

I crossed over the creek and stood looking out through the woods toward the place where the campsite would be. The woods were deadly still, you couldn't hear a sound except for the running water of the creek. I would look back toward home then out in the woods again, I went back and forth like that for a while until I plunged deeper into the woods. I followed the creek for a good while until I was at the back of the hill he had talked about. This was the most menacing part of the walk. The moon was behind the hill, causing it to be a mass of blackness to my right. I was still unnerved by the complete silence of the woods.

When I reached the bend in the creek I looked out to my left and started walking in a northeasterly direction. I had not gone far when I walked up on several large rocks sitting close together at the lip of a hollow. I went around the far end of the rocks and found myself in a clearing. I stood there for some time looking around with my flashlight, investigating my surroundings as meticulously as I could. I began to walk in circles around the area spreading out as I went.

That was when I noticed some nails in a tree. The tree was large and about six feet or so from the ground there were several square nails sticking out from its trunk. I stared at them, wondering if that had been where the table had been nailed to the tree... a bit high, but the tree would've grown. I continued to stare at the tree with the flashlight moving slowly over its surface when my blood ran cold. About four feet above the nails, there was an old axehead buried deep into the wood.

My heart began to beat rapidly, I shook my head a few times as I kept refocusing on the old rusted metal poking out from the side of the tree. Surely not... I was looking around the clearing for anything I could use to climb up to the axe head when suddenly the most earsplitting, high pitched noise I've ever heard ripped the silence around me to pieces... At once I lost all thoughts about reclamation of relics as the flashlight flew into the air and I headed in the opposite direction.

I was at a dead run toward the creek, tripping over roots, banging into trees, and damn sure that the cry that was following me held voices in it... all calling for my death.... I hit the creek with three knee deep splashes and made it a few steps on the other side when the cry began to waver and morph... It dropped its high pitched screaming and gave over to the throaty curl of an owl.... I stopped running and bent over, attempting to catch my breath. With my hands on my knees I began to laugh at myself for getting so caught up in the story and in the moment. When I had gathered my wits I started back toward the creek to retrieve my flashlight when I noticed something odd. The beam of light was casting odd shadows from the other side of the rocks. There was just one problem... The light was moving around.

All the blood drained from me completely as I stood still and watched the light moving. I thought to myself, "That's nice..." as I turned on the spot and began walking up the hill as fast as I could. The faster I walked the more sure I was that I could plainly hear footfalls in the woods behind me. Before I knew what was going on I was running as fast as I could. I went straight over the top of the hill and directly toward my grandparents house. I thought I would never reach anything recognizable and was sure I was lost forever when I broke out onto the old road bed just below their house. I made my way up the dirt road until I saw the light from their house coming through the trees. Still at a dead run, I ran across their yard and skidded to a stop in front of the porch and grabbed the rail, spun around it and landed in the chair I sat in to listen to his story...

I was sitting there breathing heavily when he looked over at me and said, "You just couldn't leave it alone could you?" I took a few more deep breathes and replied, "No Sir... but you were right.. There's definitely a spot back over in there that I shouldn't go..."